There is a little bit of coding knowledge that I understand, and there is a hell of a lot of it that I don’t. I have a huge amount of admiration for those in development and programming, it’s a skill I don’t think I’ll ever venture too far into practically, but I’m very interested in it from a distance. That is why I attend a good deal of tech events within the city. To a degree, I have a slight cross-over of knowledge into this field, as a digital designer, and I feel like I can only boost that knowledge by being exposed to more often.
However there are times where I doubt my validity within these spaces… just sometimes. Not in the sense of the people and community that these events bring, I love that sense of belonging. But… I’m a designer. Do I belong in a space that is predominantly reserved for those who work in code editors rather than Sketch or Adobe Creative Suite all day? Does being a designer really make me a person who ‘Works in Tech’? Well, I think I figured that out once and for all this week.
I spoke at Tech Nottingham. Just over half an hour of speaking to a room full of people who I definitely considered to belong there. Andrew opens the event every time with the words ‘Nobody is an outsider at Tech Nottingham’. This is clue number one to my dilemma. It doesn’t matter who you are, or what you do, you belong there.
When I was considering what I wanted to talk about, I went through a few cycles of considering what that type of audience would find worthwhile content from a designer. I began to make notes on dark UX patterns and thought I could talk about that. There’s a whole Google doc that I’ve written on how the tools we use aren’t indicative of how good we are (I might save that for another blog instead). What I eventually settled on was a topic that I thought I would be able to articulate well, and that I thought might resonate with an audience that, despite not directly share a career path with, I know might feel the same.
I spoke about ‘Knowing Your Worth’. It touched on my personal battles with Imposter Syndrome, crunch, burnout, making time for yourself, that nagging feeling that you’re not doing enough, and work/life balance. What was perfect, was that it directly challenged the Imposter Syndrome I was feeling about getting up there in the first place. It just felt right.
I don’t particularly need to talk about how much work it took to put the thing together. I think it’s a given that doing a talk requires lots of thought, dedication, rewrites and general evenings going ‘why did I decide to do this again?’. On top of that, I decided that my slide deck had to look amazing, but I didn’t want it to look like a standard ‘minimalist designer deck’.
On Monday night, I stood up in front of a room full of people (I have no idea what the final number was but I would say it looked close to 100), and I regurgitated the words I’d pored over for 3 months. Wobbly knees started to slow down after the first five minutes. A technical glitch happened soon after, but in a once in a lifetime moment, a GIF saved me from floundering. There was even an ad-libbed joke thrown in that I’d never considered an option. In a flash, it was over. The Q&A breezed through with friends asking questions and me providing silly answers. Nobody gives a shit about the Q&A anyway… right?
I missed out on a slice of the coveted pizza. But this was because so many people were so wonderfully lovely and wanted to share their stories with me after I had spoken. They shared with me similar situations to my own, journeys through the tough shit it takes to muddle through this industry. Some looked to me for more advice, and it was truly humbling.
At the end of the event, when a spare minute felt possible, I looked at my phone. It was lit up. My twitter notifications were full of these amazing people offering their praise, compliments and general loveliness. It’s hard to put into words how I feel about this, but needless to say…I felt like I was a part of the community.
As I lay in bed that night, my head started to replay some mistakes I’d made. I turned them off immediately. I listened to my own advice – laser focus on the positive, not the negative.
Does a designer belong up there? Yes.
Does a designer belong in tech? Yes.
Does a designer want to do this kind of thing again.
Maybe…
Talk given at Tech Nottingham
Slides available on Google Slides
Feature image by Peter Gallagher
